(New Mobility Magazine)

Have you ever been on a flight and felt like a complete nerd and embarrassment for the person sitting beside you? Next time you’re about to board the big bird, make sure to follow some of these rules in order to look more interesting.

Look like a poet by writing in a Moleskine using a fountain pen

Poetry is all about personal interpretation, so really, you could be writing a chain of unrelated words and nobody could actually call you out on it. The stranger next to you would be too intimidated to ask anything, and just be thinking, “Wow, this person seems incredibly deep, and more interesting than boring old me.”

Look like a programmer by opening command prompt on your laptop and spamming your keyboard

I’m going to let you in on a secret. Nobody knows how computers work or what programming really is. All computers operate with a combination of dumb luck and magic. Just open Command Prompt on your laptop and type in line after line of characters. The louder you type, the more convincing your ruse will be. Also, you’ll get bonus points for changing your font to green to make it look like you’re in T h e M a t r i x.

Bring oh so many books

Reading makes you look smart as fuck. All you have to do is bring a variety of books and stack them up on the folding table in front of you. Ensure that people next to you see their long titles, and make sure you remain in a state of constant incredulity in order to demonstrate that you’re intelligent enough to read so much. Swap books every so often to maintain your beautifully crafted illusion. Deny any food that the airhostess tries to bring you. You’re too busy for that, and the food is shit anyway.

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