(iPhone Hacks)

This morning, U3 Engineering student Albert Feinstein finally mastered the skill of turning his alarm off without waking up.

Feinstein has apparently been working at this since his first year at McGill, but the constant anxiety and fear of failure has made sure he wakes up before his alarm even goes off.

“Being in engineering seems cool and all,” Feinstein said. “But I was getting terrible sleep. My alarm just made it worse. Even though I got up seven hours before it every day.”

According to Feinstein, the trick is practice. Before he goes to bed each night, he makes the motion of reaching across his cluttered nightstand to wack his iPhone 302 times. He has shattered his screen 302 times.

“I am so happy now. I sleep through my classes and even though I’m failing them all, I’m getting at least seven hours now,” Feinstein said.

He had no comments regarding cereal and milk being the only food items in his house.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here