If you find that this is your thought process this week, double check reality to see if you are super baked or if it’s just spooky season.

  • Why is everyone out and drunk on a Wednesday night?
  • Why is everyone staring at me? Why am I dressed like IT?
  • Why are cops dressing that sexy now? Are fluffy handcuffs better for your wrists? Is this drunk cop going to arrest me?
  • Why does Pharmaprix want me to buy so much chocolate?
  • Why did people carve the insides out of pumpkins and light them on fire?
  • Why do people think ghosts are cute when they are signifiers of an afterlife, and one where we are trapped in limbo?
  • Why is my reflection in the Tokyo washroom staring back at me?
  • Why did my next-door neighbour have blood dripping down their lips?
  • Why are all of these kids ringing my door bell? Why do they need candy so bad?
  • Why can’t I get through an entire episode of The X-Files without having to pause because I am scared?

If you answered yes or no to any of these questions, you’re pretty stoned.


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