During the dreaded PSYC 302 exam last week, Psychology Major Dylan Sengin slyly turned to neighbouring test-taker and whispered, “I lost the game.” Before his neighbour could even comprehend the utterance, his bubble sheet was ripped from his grasp, and he was asked to hand over his ID.
“I never expected that losing the game would mean so much,” Sengin explained. “It’s been like four years since that stupid game even popped into my head. Like why now?”
When we caught up with Sengin, it seemed like things had taken a turn for the worst. He now lives at his parents’ small home in Mississauga, where his primary duties consist of walking the family’s goldendoodle, taking out the recycling, and occasionally alternating between his two pairs of Redmen sweatpants. When asked how he spends his time these days, Sengin shuddered.
“I can’t get that goddamn game out of my head,” he explained between sobs, combing his fingers through his unkempt hair. A terrified look spread across his face. “It keeps me up at night,” he shrieked.
Since his expulsion, a growing number of fed-up students have been peacefully gathering outside of McGill University Principal Suzanne Fortier’s mansion with signs declaring that they too have lost the game.
When asked to comment, one of the protesters said, “We’re standing in solidarity with our fallen brother. Like, I lost the game this morning at breakfast. It’s completely natural. Nothing to be ashamed of.”
Another protester explained that, “losing the game is simply a part of every person’s life. Johnny just happened to lose it at a very inconvenient time, you know?”
One protester’s sign read, “Is This A Just Game To You?” Another said, in capital red letters, “Hey Big Suze, You Lose (the game).” While the latter of the two signs would have been much better without the over-explanation of the pun, the point was read loud and clear.
One question still remains: how long will this game go on?