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Thunder cracked ominously outside, and heavy rain began to streak down the windows. “$12 pitchers of sangria, on campus, EVERY Wednesday!” proclaimed Jarret Sanders, U6 Economics, to a group of bewildered first year students. Sanders was of course referring to Sangria Wednesdays at Gerts, the student bar that once inhabited the basement of the asbestos-infested, construction-riddled SSMU building.

“I thought it was just like, an art instalment from the School of Architecture or something,” remarked Emily Xu, U0 Science, of the brutalist structure that once hosted the home of the ritual.

But Sanders confirmed that Gerts and its infamous Sangria Wednesdays was very real, as evidenced by his tales of games of poorly-played pool, awkward avoidance of past hookups, and missed Thursday morning lectures as a result of the weekly event.

Sanders continued, describing each of the 8 varieties of “sangria” available and their respective Gertrude’s Theorem score, “the Gertsgria is the best bang for your buck, but I don’t know how they’re allowed to call it sangria — it’s just Sleeman with some liquor and lemon juice thrown in”.

At press time, Sanders was was not confident that Gerts would be back before he graduates: despite taking 7 years to finish his undergraduate degree, these academic delays are no match for the delays associated with McGill’s construction projects.

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