Chris Buddle, the Dean of Students, appeared before the Senate donning a crown of thorns and began preaching the need for the administration to force students to sacrifice academics before supporting climate justice. It was later said that he carried a cross on his back as he made his way to the podium and addressed the faithless throngs of students and admin.
“There is no redemption without sacrifice,” Buddle said, his voice quivering with divine judgement, “and no salvation without suffering. For are we not but humble lambs in the eyes of our saviour McCall-McBain, blessed be their name? Their grace is found only through the path of suffering, and our arrogance will bring down their judgement now and in the hereafter. We should not be so foolish as to think that we can be bestowed deliverance without actively punishing the great sin of student activism.”
As Buddle closed, he could be heard muttering and repeating to himself “forgive them Big Suze, for they know not what they do” before proceeding to vote down the motion.