Plateau man Jean DuBois has come out recently as a strong supporter of climate justice and a key player in the fight against the capitalist regimes that keep us in a system of environmental ruin. Early reports state he has, in fact, purchased a bamboo toothbrush. This absolute martyr of the cause has recently caught attention for shaming young Swedish climate activist, Greta Thunberg, for not doing enough for the environment. DuBois claims that Thunberg could “honestly be doing more” and wondered aloud if she “even had a metal straw?” He also commented on the fact that Thunberg travelled all this way to speak in front of the U.N. “in an airplane”, calling it “frankly, a disgrace”. Upon being informed that Thunberg did, in fact, travel across the Pacific Ocean in a completely carbon neutral boat, DuBois took a long sip of his venti cold brew in a plastic Starbucks cup and had this to say. “I mean, that’s just rubbing it our faces. Sounds like performative activism to me…”

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